I’ve had a nervous energy lately. A feeling of… anticipation. Anticipation toward what, I did not know. There was a spring in my step. The post-lunch sleepies weren’t as intense as usual. I felt like going out and Happy-Slapping some Tearaways. All I knew is that it was a strange feeling to have after this past month.
Alaska in January is perpetual darkness, and bone freezing cold. It’s dark when you go to work, sunrise when you go to lunch, and dark when you go home. Sunlight is like crystal meth up here. You will stand in -10° temperatures just to bask in the Sun for the short periods that it’s actually visible. But the rush you get is slightly tempered by the huge Alaskan ravens sitting hunched in the skeletal, snow covered trees, staring balefully at you, waiting patiently for you to become carrion. For two or three weeks, the high temperatures here were around zero Fahrenheit. If you’ve ever been a cook for a fast-food joint, then you know that feeling you have when you walk into the deep freezers to get more burgers? The feeling that your boogers are freezing inside of your nose? Well I’ve discovered that that feeling starts at precisely 7°. Darkness and sub-zero temperatures sap all of your energy, and when you don’t have to do anything… you literally won’t do anything. But here I was, with this weird energy that appeared out of the blue. I noticed that others had it to. Then I figured out what caused it.
Several days ago, as I sat at my computer after work, I noticed that it was still light outside and it was 5 PM. The days are getting longer. Then the temperature jumped into positive numbers for the first time in two weeks. It wasn’t much, but just the whispered promise of a far off spring is enough to raise your spirits in this stark land. I think others noticed it too, but it seems that females were especially susceptible and were getting strangely frisky.Weird energy can make you do strange things. I’m not proud that I got into a race with the Head Start bus. It was stupid in the first place because with icy roads and a 400 horsepower car, the slightest tap on the gas causes the tires to spin… but she was revving the engine and giving me a disgusted look. She was asking for it!! How was I suppose to know that four rear tires and a diesel engine meant that the Head Start bus would blow me away in stoplight-to-stoplight racing on icy roads? Wait until spring sweetheart! Wait until I have regular tires on again!
Our building has a drink machine in a break room that’s locked most of the time. One day just before lunch, I grabbed the keys and headed down to get a soda. As the stupid machine spit out my dollar bill for the tenth time, I heard a female voice with a Latin accent ask if I could unlock a door for her. She had been in the chemical warfare defense class and had left her keys in the classroom. I moved to unlock the door but, still steamed over the stupid dollar bill changer, I didn’t notice her face or rank or anything. As I reach the locked classroom door, she said, “Wow! You look fit! You look good in that uniform!” Now… as you can imagine, fit is not a word that is often used to describe me. “Borderline Anorexic” is the term I believe most people would use. So right off the bat I’m confused. For me, a compliment is a rare and wonderful thing. A compliment from a female is so rare, that instant clumsiness occurs. I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully the lock had suddenly become difficult and hard to open, and that gave me a few seconds to think. We are both in uniform, and now that I’m getting up there in rank I must always remain professional, so I couldn’t exactly slap my ass and yell out, “Yep! It’s paid for!” So I settle on thanking her politely for the compliment and return to the drink machine and start smoothing my dollar bill on the wall so the stupid thing will take it.
If you haven’t complimented someone recently, do so. I had forgotten how good it makes you feel to receive one, and how stupid it makes you act afterward. I was putting on my uniform the next morning, and realized I had forgotten to put on my thermals. I put those on and was pulling up my uniform pants when I thought, “I wonder if was the thermals what made me look fit?” So I pulled up my pants, turned toward the mirror and shoved my ass out. Have you ever been doing something stupid at home and suddenly get the feeling that God is, at that very moment looking down on you with a perplexed look on his face and shaking his head? I realized that it was a futile exercise to stare at my own ass in the mirror, because I have no earthly idea what makes a guy’s ass look good to a woman. But there I was anyway, thrusting my ass out at a mirror and starting. Compliment someone today, they will appreciate it greatly, and will probably do something stupid at home later because of it.
Not all of the nervous energy is positive however. The events of the past month have left me with a deep foreboding. The entire world is putting out a very disturbing vibe. Things are hardening, turning solid and unmovable. Terrorists destroyed a lot more than lives and buildings that autumn day in New York. They also destroyed gray. They destroyed gray, they destroyed flexibility, and they destroyed middle ground. Seeds, sown in fire and death five years ago, are now bearing their corrupted fruit. World leaders are forcing choices of black or white, with no grey, and nothing in between. The disturbing vibe being put out, is that world war is coming. People are making their choice between black or white. People are marching toward their side, and when the middle is empty… the world will split itself apart.
Tags: Alaska, Frontier Gazette
This entry was posted
on Sunday, February 5th, 2006 at 06:20 and is filed under Frontier Gazette.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
