*Tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap*

“Don’t be eyeballin’ me boy, it’s too early for this shit.”

*Tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap*

Thus began, at around 1AM on this day in 1993, my fifteen year adventure with the United States Air Force, which still continues. In the summer of 1992, thoughts about my future consisted solely of dread of having to get up at 3AM the next day to work the part-time breakfast shift at Hardee’s, and looking forward to getting back to my room in Mom’s house so I could light a cigarette and watch TV. I had just graduated High School that spring. After that, in one long graduation party spent underage drinking for a week at Myrtle Beach, I managed to blow every red penny of a fairly significant amount of “starting your adult life” money gifted to me upon graduation.

One day that summer, as I was on my way out to mow the lawn, Mom asked me to sit down for a while and proceeded to give me a fairly long talking to. I’m sure there was a bunch of stuff in there about life, success, ambition, etc. I’m sure a lot of it was suppose to be inspirational or at least encouraging. But that’s not what my 19 year old, long-haired, head banging, heavy metal, rebelling teenage brain heard. It heard something entirely different…

It heard, “I’ll let you continue to live here if you take some college classes, but other than that, get the hell out of my house!”

A week or two later, the Air Force recruiter called. Blind luck? Fate? Divine providence perhaps? I don’t know. All I do know is that the other three services were very unfortunate, because they had called me prior to the “Get the hell out of my house” talk. This time however, the recruiter’s question of, “Son, have you ever thought of military service?” wasn’t met with howling laughter that ended abruptly with a dial tone. Instead, after a short pause, I said “When can we meet?”

The next thing I know, it’s 0430 and I’m bleeding from multiple places because I’ve never shaved in my life, and I’m frantically hacking at my face and neck with a borrowed disposable razor because a TI (read: Drill Sergeant) had just about blew a forehead vain screaming at us that we had 10 minutes to shit, shower and shave before reporting to the drill pad!!! I didn’t think I had time to borrow any shaving cream, so I shaved dry.

Since then, there hasn’t been a single day that I’ve regretted.

Looking back now, I’m absolutely floored at what can happen to a regular, small town redneck boy who had no idea about what to do with his life. I’ve lived in five foreign countries, and have worked in or visited another eleven. I’ve been to sixteen states. I’ve seen glaciers, deserts and tropical islands. I’ve flown in an F-15 fighter jet and drove 10K forklifts. I’ve helped an Airman 1st Class get his E-mail working, and helped build and install the 70+ servers required for a state-of-the-art Air Operations Center. I’ve had worthless jobs and also been a small cog in gigantic events that have, and will continue to change the future of the entire world in ways we will never imagine.

I’ve given my entire adult life so far to the United States Air Force. Here’s a few things that the Air Force has given me in return:

A Hatred of Paperwork

I would estimate that I’m closing in on the half-million mark of the number of times I’ve had to sign my name. As you can imagine, my signature has gotten rather sloppy. I have the feeling that before another five years is out, my signature will have devolved into two short and slightly wavy horizontal lines, with a dot placed somewhere randomly above one of the lines. You might wonder why a dot, when there isn’t an “i” in my name. The dot would be the shorter and faster version of crossing the T’s.

An Unshakable Confidence

As I’ve gone up in rank and my responsibilities have increased, I’ve gained confidence in myself. I honestly believe that there is nothing you can throw at me that I can’t handle. I might complain about having to handle it, but I will handle it, no question about it.

Tolerance

I can’t compare my experiences with the civilian world, but I do believe that the military is in many cases more diverse than most professions. Black, White, Catholic, Hispanic, Arab, Atheist, Asian, Muslim, Slavic, umm… redneck, jock, snob… I’ve worked with them all and for most of them, I’ve experienced their cultures. The more you travel and work with different people, the more you realize that all races and cultures are equally capable of greatness or idiocy. The only thing that sets one person apart from another, is their own individual uniqueness.

Free Vacations

I won’t lie. Several of the jobs I’ve been sent to do were more like vacations where the hotel, food and almost all of the booze was paid for. These are rare, but they make up for all of the times that I’ve had to work 14-16 hour shifts with no days off in horrific places… Like New Jersey.

Worldwide Friends

No matter where I go, for jobs, vacations or anything else, there is someone I consider a friend already there who I can count on to help me out or buy me a beer.

Coffee Addiction

Coffee is the gasoline of the communications world. I simply have to have coffee to be able to function properly in the morning. I like it with cream and sugar unlike those uncivilized barbarians who drink it black. I also like it strong enough to float a battleship, but not Ben Moyer strong. Ben Moyer strong is stronger than Army Strong.

Unapologetic Arrogance

There is no military in the world or branch of service that can bring what we bring to the battlefield. The recruitment commercials got it right with the slogan “No one comes close.” We bring whole new worlds of hurt to the enemy with precision, flexibility, and the largest explosions second only to nukes… and EOD. Every day I’m awed at the quality of people I work for, and who work for me.

I am very grateful to the U.S. Air Force and my country for giving me the opportunity to rise as far as my individual merits will take me. I’m looking forward to the next five years. Fly, Fight and Win!

Tags: 15 Years, Air Force, Military, Ponderances

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 19th, 2008 at 17:46 and is filed under Ponderances. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.